Mission Statement

Dooming bad comics, one story at a time.
Showing posts with label Captain America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Captain America. Show all posts

Que the music. No, the good music!

I don't know about everyone else, but when I was a kid there was one thing I held above all else in the world. My cartoons. I liked Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Transformers, but none of them help a candle to the super hero shows. I'd sit down to watch them every weekend, and if my dad didn't have something to do, he'd watch them with me, because he grew up with these characters, and he wanted to see what I was learning about them. From the interest he saw that I had with these characters, he started hunting down the cartoons he watched as a kid, so I could see them, and see how he got into comics. The thing I could never get past on any of them was the themes. With that in mind, I'm going to share the themes from then and the themes we grew up with, to show you how far we've come.

First of is The Hulk.

And now the theme from the show that started after the movie by Ang Lee.


Next is one of the few old themes that most people know, Spider-man.

Here's the little known Spider-man and his amazing friends.

And now, the 90's version.


Everyone knows about the Adam West Batman show, and how campy it is. Well, that just makes the theme even funnier to watch.

And then, when Bruce Timm, who previously had started Tiny Toon Adventures finally got the go ahead to make a Batman animated series, he did the unexpected. He used a Danny Elfman score for a cartoon theme. (Thanks for the catch)

The music and art style went together so well, and I doubt it will happen that well again.

I know that most people that have been in an arcade of any type have seen the X-Men arcade game. It is arguably one of the biggest arcade games of our generation, but did you know it's based off of a failed tv show?

And then a few years later they released the show that everyone remembers.

And then a few years after that ended came X-Men Evolution.


The next stop on our comparison trip will be the slew of Iron Man cartoons. The first one if from around the same time as the Spider-man show.

Then came the first season of the 90's show.

And then the second season, which was much better all around.


The last comparison we make is of the Fantastic Four shows. I put them here because when it aired, it was the second show of "The Marvel Action Hour" placed behind, you guessed it, Iron Man. Speaking frankly about the themes, I think this is the only show who's theme got worse on the remake. But I'll let you judge for yourself.

And now the 90's version.


Having gone through the whirlwind of cartoon themes, I know I'm a little tuckered out, so I'll keep the writing to a minimum. These shows were fun and the themes really show you where we were at the time of release, and for that you can't bash too much. Some of the younger readers my notice that we're missing a couple theme songs. Namely the newest Spider-man, Iron Man, and Batman themes. Here's the deal. I didn't watch them, so I left them out. And before you ask, yes, I watched X-men Evolution. I was just young enough when it came out to not know any better about how bad it would be.

So did I miss any other themes. Do you feel jaded that your favorite didn't make it? Let us know! We're always open to new ideas! And speaking of new ideas, do you have a post you want to see made? Tell us in the comments, or e-mail us, and we just may write it!



If you're still reading, I've got something special for you. Extra Credit Videos. I couldn't include them in the meat of the post, because they aren't being compared with a remake, but they're too good not to share.

Captain America


The God of Thunder: Mighty Thor


I dare you to get through this one.

Routine Maintenance Check up

Just got back from Iron Man 2, and without any spoilers, it's worth seeing. It has it's share of problems, but as I heard before I watched it, if you liked the first one, you'll like this one. More comedy, more action, more tech. Everything you probably expected. Yes I was right about a thing or two, but I take back my comments on Rourke's ability to be a convincing villain.

In short, I give it an A-.



I tried to find a pic of Iron Man giving a thumbs up, but couldn't find one. After a while of searching, the only one I could find was Obama from the Spider-man issue that couldn't sell, so I just used this. If you find one, drop me a line from the contact me and I'll change it.

Now for the spoilers. If you don't want to read, go away. I'll give you a few seconds to go.











That should do it. Ok, they are aren't biggies, but some people would be upset to see them without watching first. I know because I am among those that would.

First off, I was right about the Black Widow. She's American. She speaks russian among many other languages, but she's full blooded American.

Second, there are many homages. Cap's shield shows up, much more noticably, and not complete this time. You can not miss it. A screen shows images from Incredible Hulk(not Bana's ode to crap, but Edward Norton's decent ode to destruction) which places this movie on a timeline at the same time as Hulk.

Third, as if you didn't already know, stay until after the credits. It's worth it.

And last, Whiplash, for a decent portion of the movie, looks much more like Omega Red than the character he's supposed to be. Not like we didn't know that from the merchandise, but you'll have that.

I know, I'm not giving away much. But I like to watch things and experience them rather than be told.

That's it. Have fun and hope you watch it.

Land of the Lost....Comic Characters. Marvel Edition

The history of comics is full of characters that were added for convenience, pop culture, or even shameless promotion. Marvel is far from an exception.

In 1991 Marvel released an ongoing series about an NFL player who saves a child, hurting his knee in the process. Unnecessarily long story short, he steals an indestructible football uniform and uses it to fight crime. Bad story, but wait till you hear the name. NFL Superpro.
Even if you aren't completely convinced this is a bad series idea, try reading it. Even as a kid, I couldn't help but see that this was nothing but a shameless advertisement for the NFL. Plus, the first issue had Spider-man in it, like every series of the early 90s that they knew didn't stand a chance, but still wanted to be forced down people's throat.

Not only did he suck, but his villains did too. Quick Kick, a ninja kicker. Instant Replay, a time manipulating assassin. And last but not least a football player who used steroids and turned into an insane giant monster.

Where is he now? The most recent reference to him was in a Marvel Team up issue, where Stilt Man tells Daredevil "I beat up a guy called Superpro last week. Silliest looking guy..."

This next shining example "I've got a GREAT idea for a character!" is none other than this strapping man. His name is Demolition Man, but you won't see him labeled as much other than D-Man, except for his listings online. His first appearance was as a wrestler in a super hero wrestling league, and his big fight was against the Thing. They wrestle and the Thing wins, despite D-Man's unwillingness to throw the fight. A couple of years later, he joins up with Captain America and becomes one of the many heroes at Cap's disposal during and leading up to when Cap stops being Cap and becomes USAgent. Honestly, the story on D-Man is really not that interesting. Like most characters that writers didn't know what to do with, they made him mentally unstable and then secluded him from the rest of the Universe.

Where is he now? D-Man has popped up in Marvel in a couple of the recent events. If you read the Captain America portion of Civil War, you'll see a hologram of him used as a distraction to help the resistance achieve an objective. He apparently also pops up in Dark Reign as a military man.

The next stop on our tour of the obscure isn't obscure if you've read Captain America's comics. He's none other than Batroc the Leaper.
Batroc has been around for ages. He first appeared back when Captain America shared a book with Iron Man.

Batroc has had a long history as a villain. He's fought everyone from The Punisher, Spider-Man, Gambit, Black Panther, to attacking the Avengers as a whole. He has no super powers, and his only real threat is his martial art, savate, a french form of kick boxing, and his strategical mind. Despite the fact that he is a criminal, Batroc prides himself on his code of honor. He's reformed a few times, once with Baron Zemo's Thunderbolts, and again later by joining the Initiative, training soldiers in combat.

Where is he now? Unlike the other characters we've looked at today, Batroc is a constant in the Captain America world. Every time the series is restarted, or even when certain writers took over, he is brought in to either commit a crime, or just for a rematch with Cap. Unfortunately, in the newest run, he wasn't brought in until the new Captain America was already in uniform.


That's all the characters for now. So here's your homework. Any one that can go back to the D-Man picture and tell me what 2 characters Marvel ripped-off to create the costume for D-Man will get a prize when they become available. Limit first 3 people to correctly e-mail me the correct answer. Winners will be posted once there are 3. Click the contact me button above the mission statement and write "D-Man contest" in the subject box.

Where are the pants?

In the early 90s Marvel Comics had a fascination with scantaly clad super heroes, and seemed to do whatever they could to show them. I'll level with you. I saw these pictures and had to share them. I didn't do much research, and probably won't when I'm done writting this. In fact, as soon as I'm done, I'll probably bleach my eyes, face, and hands, but only because they typed the words that found this stuff.

And with that, we shall begin.
This is the first image along this line I ever saw. It was in an issue of X-men from around the time I was watching the cartoon. In all honesty, it isn't that bad. It's very tame and not very fun(except for he right reasons. Iceman freezing the pool, Jubilee trying to flex like Collasus, etc.). But this is hardly where it ends.
This next picture is trying to be in the same vein, and it might have succeeded if it weren't for the characters still wearing their masks. Also notice that Iron Man is not only wearing his armor, but he has a swimsuit on over the armor.

These two pictures are of She-Hulk. They show two very different art styles for the character, but neither make much sense to me. The one on the left shows a lot of muscle definition in the upper body, but as you work your way down, the body looks more and more like a model. Whatever the artist was told to do, I think he forgot about it until the end of the work. The picture on the right can be summed up in one phrase and one word. Side boob and dragon. We've all had moments where those two words work together... Oh, is that just me...?
This picture begins the "what were you thinking Marvel?" section of our time together. Make your own comments on this one.

This picture is supposed to be sexy tiny Wasp, but all I see is Wonder-thong and the Patriotic Package. You'll understand if I don't linger to talk more about it.

This last piece is the reason first I came across tonight. I was researching another piece I'm working on, stumbled across this and had to share. Here's what I see in this picture. Captain America, wearing an American flag as a speedo. He's holding his shield. I get it so far. Who hasn't stripped down to their skivies, which demean everything you stand for, and feel so darn exposed that you hold a piece of armor. Below him is a blonde bombshell, wearing another American flag as a bikini. But the real notice isn't what she's wearing, it's how she's wearing it. Her top and bottoms are being worn in opposite directions. Now look at where she's looking. That's right, directly into his crotch. If that doesn't say "child-friendly" I sure don't know what does. Next we look behind them. And what do we see? A tribe of people with shields and spears WATCHING them. None of them is doing anything but watching the half naked people sit there. It's like the inverse of National Geographic. Oh, and there's also a waterfall.

Well, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope to have a real piece in the near future.